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Learn to recognize and protect yourself from the People Who Play God.
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Text and Artwork:
Copyright © 2007 Beth E Peterson. All rights reserved.
We
are each the hero of our own story.
The
question is, what kind of hero do we choose to be?
Many years ago, I worked with a certain woman who was tiny in physical stature, but who never saw herself that way. In her own mind, she was just as big, just as tough, and just as likely to put the munch on all comers as any six-foot-three street tough. I had been reading Joseph Campbell's book, The Hero With a Thousand Faces, and a new thought suddenly appeared within my head. This woman saw herself as a hero. In fact, she saw herself as the hero.
That realization got me paying more attention to the other people around me. And I discovered that they, too, saw themselves as the hero of their life story. I popped the lid on my own psyche. Yup. I, too, saw myself as the hero of my own story.
Well, then, no wonder Campbell found hero myths across the globe and throughout history. This is a concept we all have, unmarked and unnamed, within ourselves. We each grow up knowing life from our own perspective...we are all by nature ego-centric. We can expand and learn to imagine ourselves in the other's shoes, but even still, our first and primary point of view is through our own eyes.
This contributes to our sense of being the hero of our story, but there is another aspect which is even more important. We all need to have a sense of self-worth, a sense of self-determination, and a sense of being in control. We all need to see ourselves as right, correct, or justified in our actions. We need to see ourselves as a hero, of one type or another. Even those people who engage in criminal actions will see themselves as the hero of their own story. (Others may see them anti-heroes, but that is the others' perception, not the individual's.)
Being a hero is an everyday thing for us, even though we have never thought of ourselves in that way before. Having once consciously recognized ourselves as a hero, however, opens the door for us to shape and hone our own sense of hero-hood and what it means to be the hero of our own story. We now have an opportunity to consciously make the choices that enhance our desired method of hero-hood.
As I mentioned before, however, not all people are good, even if they do think of themselves as being the hero (or protagonist) of their own stories — their own lives. There are those who harm others, even though that may not actually be their goal. (There are others, though, who do have the goal to inflict harm and pain. Be aware that they do exist.)
Most harmful forms of human interaction include the use of interpersonal manipulation. This occurs in abusive relationships, cults, extremist groups, and totalitarian regimes, as well as a staggering number of relationships which wouldn't necessarily be classified in any of those categories.
It only makes sense for us heroes to find out what challenges there are out there, and to become prepared for them if we should run into them. Considering that preliminary surveys suggest that 85-90% of adults in the USA have been effected by extremely manipulative relationships or groups, either directly or indirectly , this is definitely one of those challenges we need to get ready for.
Extreme Manipulation: The Statistics
Foundations of Extreme Manipulation
Are You In a Cult?
Is This Relationship Abusive?