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Learn to recognize and protect yourself from the People Who Play God.
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Text and Artwork:
Copyright © 2007 Beth E Peterson. All rights reserved.
I have been asked a number of times how someone can know if they are involved with a manipulator or ultra-authority. In
a few cases I have been asked how one would know if they are in a cult. Although there are a number of checklists out there regarding
destructive cults, they often are fragmentary or focused more on ideological differences from mainstream belief.
Therefore, I offer the following questionnaire. It is geared toward destructive cults and
extremist groups, but it may also be helpful to those in one-on-one relationships.
***Please note: It is dangerous, if you believe that you may be involved in a cult, to ask anyone
within the group, especially the leadership, if it is in fact a cult. If it should in fact turn out to be a destructive group,
you will certainly be lied to and told it is not, but even more importantly you will suffer greatly for
questioning the leadership, through pressure to conform, verbal and/or physical punishment, having such doubts be used against you as proof
of your lack in spiritual growth or commitment, etc.
The more questions you answer in the affirmative, the greater the chance is that you are
involved with an extreme manipulator or ultra-authority. For the purposes of this inventory,
the possible manipulator or ultra-authority figure (or ultra-authoritarian select who hold
power within the larger group) is referred to
as "A". Except where otherwise directed, make a checkmark on a piece of paper for each YES answer.
1.____ Is "A" always unequivocally correct, no matter what?
2.____ Is "A" never criticized within the group, even in jest?
3.____ Do you usually try to avoid arguments with "A" at all costs? Even if you have to fudge with the truth in order to avoid conflict?
4.____ If you have done something which is against 'the rules' as laid down by "A", are you subjected to group harassment, belittlement, ostracism, being thrown out from the group, or punishment?
5.____ Are you required to confess your "sins", "crimes", "mistakes" or otherwise to the group or to "A"?
6.____ Are you disallowed privacy of thoughts, emotions, and/or experiences? Are you required to share any or all of the above with the group and/or "A"?
7.____ Do you avoid certain subjects of conversation because "A" does not like them?
8.____ Once you have been pressured into confessing and/or sharing, is what you have said used against you? Is it brought up as 'proof' of your lacks, used as an excuse for punishment or used to pressure you for further exposures of your inner self?
9.____ Have you been promised that if you do exactly as the group says all of your problems will be solved, that you will be saved from a terrible fate, or that nothing will ever be able to harm you again?
10.____ Does the group or "A" state that all people outside the group are damned, failures, rejects, or otherwise lost beyond hope of redemption...unless they too join the group?
11.____ Does the group or "A" divide behaviors and/or beliefs into two, and only two, classifications --Right and Wrong?
12.____ Have you ever considered leaving the relationship with the group or "A", but felt you could not face the consequences?
13.____ Has anyone outside of your relationship with "A" commented on your own behavior/mood since becoming involved with the group or "A", as in stating that you used to be much happier, lively, vivacious, etc.?
14.____ Does "A" or the group demand that you must always be perfect, as defined by "A" and/or the group?
15.____ (For this question, make a checkmark if the answer is NO) Are you involved in as many clubs, social events, hobbies or sports as you were before you and "A" became involved?
16.____ (For this question, make a checkmark if the answer is NO) Have you maintained, at the same level of friendliness, the relationships you had before becoming involved with "A"?
17.____ Do even minor infringements of the rules result in you being punished or heavily pressured by "A" or the group?
18.____ (For this question, make a checkmark if the answer is NO) Does "A" actively encourage you to develop new friendships outside of the group, other than with the purpose of attracting new members?
19.____ Has anyone outside of your relationship with "A" commented on "A"s behavior as being excessive or out of line?
20.____ Does the group have special meanings to common words that only they understand? That an outsider will not be able to understand until they are inducted into the depths of the group?
21.____ Have you or any other group members been made to take full responsibility for other people's actions within the group? So as, if you did not demonstrate enough faith, you were held accountable for another person doing something harmful to themselves?
22.____ Does the group or "A" make major decisions about your life? Such as where you will live, whom you will interact with, what job(s) you will hold, how your money will be spent?
23.____ Has "A" blamed you or made you responsible for things you have no control over? Such as the behavior of other people, their own behavior, or events which you could not control?
24.____ Does the group and/or "A" demand that you accept criticism from the group?
25.____ If "A" found out that you had taken this inventory, would "A" verbally (or otherwise) thrash you and/or angrily demand to know why?
26.____ Does "A" make sure that you only leave the confines of the group if you are in the company of another group member?
27.____ Has the group and/or "A" ever told you that what you have experienced is false? That your own personal experiences are not as accurate as the ideology? (i.e. That your mother hugged you because she was manipulating you, rather than because she loved you)
28.____ Has "A" made certain books required reading, and/or banned other books, magazines, music, etc.?
29.____ Has your own perceptions changed, especially in regards to yourself, your old friends, your family, and/or others?
30.____ Are there any barriers that keep you from walking away from "A" or the group right now? Does "A" and/or the group hold any of your property, your children, your money, etc. so that you cannot easily leave?
I hope that the above questions help you focus and realize some of the areas which are often used against a person. But, unfortunately, there is much more at work which cannot be covered in these questions.
Ultra-authoritarian groups are extremely diverse in tactics and ideologies. Therefore, it is practically impossible to determine from a short, simple questionnaire such as this whether a specific group is indeed ultra-authoritarian in nature. The above questions are almost all centered on the techniques which most ultra-authorities utilize, but that is not a completely reliable test. Some techniques are much more subtle than others. However, the real test of a group or of another person is the amount of personal authority and self-determination they allow you. Religious differences are not in themselves psychologically harmful; the stripping of a person's ability to act and decide for themselves, IS.